ALL ABORD THE BRAIN TRAIN

The Raging Empath

Empathy is feeling the unspoken feelings, energy and moods of people and places. It’s not fairy dust and toxic positivity like it can...

Jun 15 min read

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Star Charts & Personality Tests

Personality tests are like a horoscope, a self-diagnosis and a personal roast all rolled into one. For most, it’s answering pages of...

Jun 15 min read

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I don’t believe in much these days, but I believe in @suvya_thequeen29 and her voice now more than ever ♥️

Proud to have matching tattoos, proud to be your sister from another mister and most importantly proud of how you use your power for good ♥️

Well, here goes something! 🤷🏻‍♀️ I blog now (?) and Learn to Grieve is now live :) The irony of starting to blog after over a decade in a blog dominated industry is not lost on me. At the time it felt disingenuous to post a weekly “What can I say about this couple? Their love is authentic and it was an honor to document it” and other overused industry buzz words — I had the most special time living it and writing about it in real time only seemed to dull the shine.

But NOW? Now’s the time to reflect, to share to be able to feature stories, experiences and ideas spanning from a fresh set of songs to play at weddings to being a Raging Empath (tm) in today’s world. It’s a stream of consciousness that’s likely going to help me as much as it could help anyone else ♥️

Please bring a sense of humor and an open mind! As always, there is no pressure from me and I won’t be offended if the topics are not for you! I appreciate you regardless and hope you can find something to gain — Thank you for being here, I’m surprised with every story I share or post I make that you guys are on board enough to keep following - it’s wonderful to have you ♥️

Learntogrieve.com

Some advice from a very impatient, spontaneous and excitable person who was forced to be patient through many uncomfortable, highly masked years — if you’re trying to live a life that is not meant for you, the universe will only allow it for so long before it pulls the rug out a few times to knock you into the right direction.

Most of you know how I feel about the current state of the world, and if you don’t, please see the “Resist” highlight spanning from inauguration until hardcore personal burn out - as it feels increasingly scary or even disingenuous to post business as usual on Meta, I’ll be adjusting how I use it as well as where I keep my voice.

SO! If you’re into unsolicited direction, travel, photography, parenthood, married life, fun things to try and whatever the opposite of gatekeeping is, come on down to my new… blog? Yes, blog. After 12 years as a photographer, the end of my career seemed like the ideal time to share my lessons in life, love, travel and work — at the very least, you’ll get a laugh out of it ♥️

Learn To Grieve — coming soon :)

My part of the Revolution will be shifting to action over scrolling, contacting officials instead of reposting, finding community and organizations to take part in, signing petitions, educating myself and finding peace in what I can control until it begins to grow outside of my home - my identity will be defined by my values and willingness to love people. My children will not have to wonder how I feel about injustice. It’ll never be a question if I cared.

I hope, even if you are somehow still wavering, you begin to believe what we are seeing and call it exactly what it is. I understand fear, I understand remaining optimistic or saving face, I understand that this is a trying time for many relationships, but that privilege you have — the one that allows apathy, business as usual posting, compartmentalization, blissful ignorance, the “as long as my family is ok” mentality — the one allowing you to smile and wave to a neighbor while ICE makes an illegal arrest across the street — it’s time to TREAT your privilege like the privilege it is and use it to extend your heart to those without.

If you need help finding your footing - start by learning about someone you already know. You’re welcome to start with my kids and I who are on Medicaid, my husband, an Air force Combat Veteran who deployed twice, my father who died of Pancreatic Cancer (as of this week, Cancer research has been halted), my cousin who is transgender and someone I love — if you are human, you have absolutely encountered someone who needs your voice, support and care now more than ever.

The goal of Fascism is to cause polarizing fear to the point of isolation. I love this community so incredibly much BUT I feel hypocritical by posting on anything Meta — I will be poppin on here from time to time but am choosing/giving myself permission to take my part of the Revolution into the real world. You’re welcome to join, even if right now, your part is caring for your own mental health - that’s the perfect place to start.

This is me, extending an invitation to scroll less and do more - lay a foundation of equal parts bravery and empathy with me, please ♥️

Quick Q: When does it stop being a warning and becomes reality?
A: Today.

(Heads up, if you’re not up for this opinion piece and a couple very real, possibly triggering experiences, protect your peace ♥️)

FULL disclosure, during the important years of History class, I was a notorious sleeper. Like, daily. I paid enough attention to pass but realllllly didn’t care. School wasn’t it for me and never has been. The important part of this reflection is that as deeply as I care now, it’s nearly impossible to teach someone to care about things they’re unwilling to learn about. It’s like pushing sobriety on someone — heartbreakingly that choice cannot be made by anyone but the one consumed by substance.

I am fortunate to be in the last of the generation who did not experience social media in school (thank goodness) but if I had, that same sleepy teenager who was obsessed with the 1960’s music, peace signs, and floral skirts would have also likely cared about a TikTok ban and more importantly could have been swayed by the person who issued the reinstatement.

We’ve now entered a true danger zone in more ways than I can count and if you have ANY dog in this fight, I ask that you try with all your might to help elevate voices of love louder than hate and manipulation.

Speaking of, Hate crimes increased TWENTY percent last time that asshole was in charge — think about all that he’s said and done since. Now imagine those criminals looking up to our leaders and knowing that they’re protected because if the “leader of the free world can do it, so can I” — it’s BAFFLING to me that the couple people I know who voted for him are kindhearted Christians while my own personal Rapist, literally known around our college dorm as “Rob the Rapist” is more than likely celebrating our new America by beating his wife.

Empathy runs deep in my world. If it’s not in your nature, be glad you don’t have to feel anyone else’s feelings but your own, but also take that unique opportunity to grow some new branches to connect with people who need it the most right now.

Now is time for love, for understanding, for patience, for radical empathy. I hope the resistance is lead with Hope.

Happiest 37th to my rare, wonderful guy who gives us the truest and most literal unconditional love everyday ✨ there is so much to say about the year that broke and rebuilt every part of our world but the only thing that matters is that we were together — loving you is the best decision I have ever made and I’ll continue to make it everyday until the days run out ♥️

I love you, @itsthejourneyman - your smile makes my world spin, can’t wait for next year’s home movie already!

New Year, New Me…ds 💊

I had a whole mental health schpeel (sp?) written about my recent experience but everything feels so much bigger than what reality was when I started this draft — so all I will say is that if you feel like it is too much, it’s because it really fucking is right now and it’s ok to feel that — however, IF it feels beyond your control and circumstance and feels like an inescapable, all consuming darkness, please don’t wait as long as I did to seek professional help. If needed, call 988 and know there is an actual human waiting to help on the other end.

Being in survival mode for an extended time, I’ve left a few too many wonderful people hanging — this week I’ll be embarking on an apology tour via texts and email and tie up all loose photo ends. Isolation and avoidance is my specialty when a depressive episode comes to stay and this one has been looming for quite some time. It’s a horrific habit and one I hope to overcome permanently — 2025, you’re scaring the shit out of me, please take a breath.

Also, enjoy these cute mental health memes while the world burns? I promise it didn’t feel as tone deaf when I started putting words together last week 🫠

For now, take what you need and if you feel like you’re going crazy, I’ll meet you there ♥️

I am a list person, so here we go —

1. Depression is a reallllll pain in the ass. It’s like a terrible friend who shows up at the door, demands to stay and then complains about everything.
I hope this “friend” will get lost soon, it’s ridiculously inconvenient to our beautiful new scenery and experiences

2. New digs are GOING to be amazing once editing is complete and a focus can be on making our house a home (or at least unpacked)

3. Speaking of editing, every minute I am able to, I am editing — @msrachelforlittles helps a lot 😅 it’s truly the one thing I feel confident and in-control of at the moment so that’s helpful - clients, friends, those awaiting their galleries (MUCH fewer of you than a couple weeks ago) - don’t fret, 26-31 year old Kayla was depressed AF and peaked hard with photography, so your photos will not suffer ✨ promise! Ps. your patience is legit the gift of a lifetime while I get through this transition

4. In other news, our kids are the actual best and my husband somehow got … hotter(?) — a new level of love for his work, life and us has been unlocked and it’s really amazing to watch - @itsthejourneyman is his new spot if you’re into farm to table food, gardening, hospitality, building things, hosting events and living on some beautiful land, feel free to follow!

5. I don’t realllllly know what this account will become and it’s totally ok with me for those who drop off or unfollow — I won’t be offended as I’m sure a lot of you came here after we met at a wedding or after a photoshoot of people you love popped up one day! Ain’t no thang :) if I had to guess I’d imagine it will reflect a life of diy home projects, photography of old and possibly new people and places(?), trying new things/hobbies, navigating mental health & distance from the known, adorable small town things and beautiful scenery — for now I’m working on keeping our 2 sweet ones under 2 happy and healthy while surviving and getting out of the darkness before attempting anything serious!

6. Speaking of, anyone know of a great online therapist? ♥️

Seriously, thank you for hanging for however long you have & if you’re awaiting a mid-convo reply, it’s coming soon!

Depending on how long you’ve known me or followed, you may know about my entire previous life living in North Carolina for 7 years - the majority of this was in Durham, but the end of my time there and beginning of my “eat, play, love” phase kicked off in Asheville — it was a place that meant everything to me as it came at the true definition of a cross roads moment.

Seeing glimpses into the absolute devastation across Western North Carolina and friends who have lost quite literally everything they own and hold dear — it’s the most helpless feeling - @mtnrivercampground in particular has suffered a great loss and is choosing to serve their community with kindness and supplies while helping to spread awareness that this is an historic event that needs a much bigger spotlight — if you can, please learn more about this and ways to help in the long road to recovery ♥️

24 hours into our Irish Hollow chapter ✨ there is magic in these 500 acres and we can’t wait to get to know every nook of them — the property connects to an additional 1300 protected acres so I’d imagine we’ll be exploring here for a long while :)

When we’re not being feral, we can pop into the literal hallmark town we get to live just outside side of — @visitgalena if you haven’t heard of it, I implore you to check it out and plan a visit, whether you stay at Irish Hollow or elsewhere! The town has a cute, 3500 residents and an astounding 1.5-2.2 million visitors a YEAR, to enjoy the wide open spaces, Main Street, farm experiences and winter activities including a ski resort on the Mississippi River!

As for our new digs, we’re living on property in a fixer upper farmhouse with much more space than we had before and I can’t wait to make it our home 🥹

The inn & cottages are OPEN for their 38th season, Chef is working full time and I will be taking the next few weeks to focus solely on editing, settling in, and being with the kids before joining the fun!

This place is truly one of those soulmate type places for us — farm to table breakfasts, simple suppers, wine and whiskey dinners by the campfire with live music, and a 7-course Chef Tasting dinner with every stay — I will literally tell you all about this place and realize I don’t have to try to explain everything day 1 — in the meantime, if you’d like to follow or PLAN A VISIT (sorry kids, it’s couples only on property) feel free to follow along @innatirishhollow ✨

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ABOUT ME

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Loves : my husband, our babies, kindness, vulnerability, cozy living, interior aesthetics, Thursdays, trying new things, oldies music, horror movies, antique stores, astrology, photography, voice messages, traveling, holding a warm mug with both hands, empathy, signs from the universe, people with a great sense of humor, patient friends and quick, meaningful connections

Not-so-loves : jerks, entitlement, the current state of our country, apathy, challenging mental health stretches, small talk, drivers who camp in the left lane, eating noises and most of the "ists" of the world

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